your made up vision of me.

Sights

2012-02-10T01:33:00.001+08:00

Hmm. I began to wonder why things start to complicate and feel that I am always not doing my best.

Then I remembered the chat kiwi and i had the other day, it was to know the differences between being popular and being famous. For all we might know, those words can be manipulated in similar ways in English context, but the meaning of the two definitely are different. I shall not elaborate much, i don't want blog to be a novel, i want it to act as a memory. Ohyeah, i didn't mention, after that wonderful dinner, i was thinking about the difference of being sleepy and being tired. I mean, there are alot of analogies like these that we all can use to emphasize on my point.

All these may seem pointless, but to me, I think it's all little reminders in life, it's like telling us to always think, like always have troubles or problems for ourselves to think about, because living life without troubles, is a trouble.

Well, I guess I am blabbing about my all so action and acting chim sort of stuff. Hmm, i am still thinking, what is missing in that poster? Yes. Even though our lecturer suck, i still want to have a proper visual for our event nonetheless. Ouch, i can be so random and stuff.

I guess it's all part of being sleep drunk. Hehe, having too much sleep isn't good I am telling you. There are reasons to why we feel tired if we sleep too much, but it's not confirmed about whether is it the chemicals that is playing a major part or it is simply just a conditioning. It is also suggested that our lifespan may be reduced if we continuously sleep(in excess) that is.

And suddenly I thought about the fact that I haven't really found a new bestfriend in my poly just yet, i mean a girl for this case, i call guys my bros. :) well, i guess till then, they won't see the true colors of certain people, I'm just saying that our eyes and minds always trick us and words go in cahoots with them to bring us down. Slowly I guess, time will go, things will show.

For we need to crazy before we can be sane again.

Hehehe, i am sounding so bloody naggy right now, feels good to be sleep drunk. :-P

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so i won't ask you to.

2012-02-01T22:01:00.000+08:00

WOAHHH. Even JC has started now, seems like reality is coming back for most of us eh? No more working and learning how harsh working can be and stuffs like this. Somehow, I'm becoming like how i was in secondary four, napping in the afternoon and still feeling extremely lethargic thereafter.

And from there, it's starting to hit me, like, time's has just going to be the same again. People come and go, we pray for karma to work and slap each of us in the ass. Moreover, it's starting to seem as though, everyday is raining, tensions can be felt, just whether if you want to give a damn about it or not. I'm definitely still harping on the issue of people being so pretentious. BUT, I don't know why, it seems as though you already realize that some of us have this certain disliking for you, but.. the thing is that I don't know why aren't you doing anything about it? Is it your first time being ignored?

But anyway, i think i want to have like heart to heart talks with people. Been sometime, since i ever counsel someone else.

rationally incorrect

2012-01-31T19:23:00.002+08:00

School-life is still awesome! Hah. I guess.
I made much improvements by talking to many people and acting stupid and stuff. At least now they don't have to be the clown and i can be the one doing the stupid stuff. :D

Honestly, I love my poly life.
But, i feel that something is really empty, i hope like everyone i know would somehow collide and like meet one another. As that thought hit me, I realized that there is a bigger issue. Having a good group of friends is good, but no doubt, conflicts arise and are bound to cause craters within the circle we have. I mean, it has just been two weeks. Why are we already backstabbing people? And then it reminds me of my secondary school life; like how i got hated and i caused hatred to other people. Can you tell me what's wrong? Can you tell me that is it me or is it I'm expecting too much? It's one way or another. I'm hoping to know.

I cherish people around me. I feel for them and i hope i can be the best-est best friend i can ever be. I know, i know. I'm thinking too much. I'm not feeling empty, but more like i worry for the future in my heart. Are we just going to part and like, leave one another like how we always do? And I'm beginning to have trust issues, why do you insist that you're not a part of us when you spoke and enjoyed with us? Don't you feel that you've just insulted everyone and betrayed them? The others may be sitting on the borderline and allow you to do all you want. But I really hope you just speak your mind. You're such a disappointment. Everyone is equally important so please. Sigh.

I don't want things to just end again, the moment when someone close leaves, really hurts. I hope i am doing a good job in making everyone happy, i don't feel tired or anything to make you guys happy. You guys are a group of special people and i enjoy each and everyone's company.

You now see the emphasis i place on all of us?
Sigh.
I just hope, we don't just crumble.
Why bother being neutral? I see no point.
Sigh.

slightly more radical

2012-01-20T22:44:00.001+08:00

wah! I'm finally back on track, gosh. Took me long enough! But this time, i want to be way better than i was, I'm going to take up way more opinions than in the past and try my best to stand with the crowd!

Well, I'm not really recognized and i often get ignored by my peers! But, not to worry, step by step, I'll find someone like you again(i hope.) I've learned new thing again, but this time, it's more towards the depth of myself and more of things that i should take in.

BUT ANYWAYYYYY. IMMA GO LISTEN TO RUMOR MILL BY WATIC AGAINNN. OMGGGGGGGGGGG.

BYEE

still picking up the pieces.

2012-01-15T12:06:00.003+08:00

HEYYYY. I'm finally back from my new school's camp! OHMYGOD. It's like the best i'm telling you! (okay, i suppose that i'm talking to someone. so quit judging!)

Well, I've met many new people, learned so many new things and got lots of inspiration! The camp was led by previous DPA students and like also a group called the Absorbent Minds. Well, i seriously began out hating the camp(sorry.) simply because i was bored, well i was tired!! I SLEPT LATE BEFORE THE CAMP D:
Gosh, what an idiot i am, hmm..Okay, like i was saying, i hated the camp but like all typical stories, i seriously enjoyed the camp. It may seem as though a normal camp of simply having ice breaking and also building up teamwork but the unique thing is that it is designed to bring ourselves out of the shell. Therefore, simply to put it, better prepare ourselves for a hectic poly life.

To begin the camp with, i was placed in a really really quiet group, like a really different group unlike the other ones I've been in before. I was bent on losing(ouch.) but we ended up not coming in last position for many events! I'm proud to be in that team and i look forward in having outings with them. HAHA, i realize how vague i am in describing my camp!!! But i am like damn keen to type out what i have learned from the camp!

So YES, THE CAMP IS AWESOME(CONCLUSIVE PERSON UH!) AND I WANNA SAY WHAT I LEARNED.

- FEEL THE FEAR, JUST DO IT.
This was the most appreciated statement from the camp instructor(from my point of view okay.) Well, my balls just kept on dropping whenever it comes to volunteering and stuffs like this, well mainly because i am always unappreciated and things like that(and it often hits me as a signal of me being lousy and stupid)
BUT! I feel that after this camp, it's not how others' point of view over you is but more of how you take the issue. It's like, appreciating yourself is much more important than simply getting knocked down by other. However, it still remains as a good practice to continue to have acceptance over other people's point of view and currently change for the better!

Please note: The other things I've absorbed are all great but it is more based on rationale, so it simply takes time to figure that out over the period of our lives and it simply requires principle and discipline!

-GOALS IN LIFE

I used to think these things that are so precious should just be kept to yourself, but now, i feel that such things can be inspirational and could act as a motivation to many others! And my aim in life is to LIVE LIFE FOR OTHERS AND LIVE LIFE HAPPILY.
Why living life for others? I would say because doing that, you're living life on the line of staying in love, keeping close to your emotions and also staying true to yourself. I find it more fun rather than simply living life to the fullest and having much explorations and having more exposures to things you have never known. I don't want to have much regrets in life and my definition to that is to make sure people around me are happy!
OH! ON A SIDE NOTE, I've began doing so already! Like, i took up my first job as a waiter and within the job scope is to satisfy the customers(it may not be related but if you stay in my shoes, you will know how tough and magical you feel as your satisfy one person!)
SO NOW. I MUST BE MORE OPENED TO MY FRIENDS OVER AT NGEE ANN ANDDDD NOT BE #FOREVERRRRALONE. D:
So yes, my goals in life coincides each other and once i do one, I'll most probably attain both at once! BUT IT AIN'T GONNA BE EASY AND I KNOW IT. (LOL, wtf i'm sexy and i know it much.)

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. YES, that's a'lil bit about my update and I'll be working on other stuff like schoolwork and my little projects for this blog! :D

new

2010-03-20T13:39:00.003+08:00

YAY. I AM STARTING TO WRITE AGAIN!

But hey, this time this blog should not be restrained by the judgement of others(i hope, plus the judgement is seriously just plain overthinking by myself...). Anyway, i have a sudden thought! AND THAT IS THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION. Hmmmmm.
Decisions... decisions.
But i guess let's just take things slowly since school hasn't started and all(lying to myself that i don't have school from next Wednesday on and that i am actually taking my results next Monday.) or maybe not even have any new year's resolution.

Anyway, bout' new years' resolutions right, i just think that it should be a benchmark set for yourself and not anything that you wanna achieve for the sake for achieving, it's like make sure you deal with the resolutions wholeheartedly and like hopefully benefit from it?(i guess.) If you don't get what i mean, it's just that when i say for the sake for achieving , it just simply means that a resolution should be made FOR A REASON(Oops, obvious much ._.). If you have resolutions like make more friends, you must know why you're doing so, like maybe say you want to learn more about having trust or having more people to know your thoughts, or just that you want to have more friends. Hahaha, i know right, i'm such a everything-also-must-have-reason sorta person(i just feel that it's for a good cause!!!! :O)

So yeah, done my little piece for my random thought and what the shit, i'm supposed to be writing about something i want to jot down(as a memory!) and that is my job experience(YES I WORKED! :D) It's like few days back i was ranting to cs over the fact that some of my peers too are thinking about blogging(via twitter and yes, i stalk.) and i was pretty much in a very minor dilemma about whether or not to open up a blog and my conclusion is that YES I WILL BLOG(DUH.)

Anyway, i guess i can leave that to later or perhaps sometime later! I should be thinking about the cleaning of my shoes and spring cleaning of my room which is filled with stains of my secondary school life and a little bit of my primary school life. I will do it soon. SOON. So yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, byeee.

ALEX GOOT IS AWESOMEE.
ATL TOO.
OH WAIT BYE(wtf, i spelled bte..)